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so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
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