Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
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I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
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i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina