If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
You don't make any sense
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