I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize
