My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
