I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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