One girl and one boy is just not enough.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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