Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
