why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
