I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
