My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
i out mim tonsoeep
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
