I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Randomize
