jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
