Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
