check it out our google latitudes are spooning
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Randomize
