Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
don't judge my taste in strippers
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Randomize
