you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
