Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
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