he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
