Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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