Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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