This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Randomize
