He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
