I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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