I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
