What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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