i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize
