Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize