Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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