I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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