forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Randomize
