Pappa wants mamma naked
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I need to calm my uterus...
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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