I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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