so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
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