Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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