and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
