Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
