either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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