you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
There's always time for handjobs
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
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