I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
