How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
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