Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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