I like my sex mixed with concussions.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
