I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
