A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
