Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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