where am i from again
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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