he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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