Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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