What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
