Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
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