Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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