I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
