his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I intend to get homeless drunk
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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