it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
