I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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