I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
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a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
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My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
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