I don't remember. Are we still dating?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
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