She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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