i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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