You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
The beers last night were like the tears from god
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
