I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
