Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
