Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
