You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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