my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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