Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
