Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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