No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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