he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Are these your boobs on my camera?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
